PALO ALTO, CA – After securing a $15 million Series A to “reinvent the digital engagement funnel via emotionally intelligent AI-powered banner ads,” hot new AI startup Promptly has been exposed as having no proprietary technology whatsoever, according to multiple whistleblowers. Sources confirm the company’s entire platform consists of three sequential API calls to OpenAI’s ChatGPT, rounded out by vague product vision statements and some SVG animations reportedly billed at $146,000.

Suspicion began during onboarding, when a newly hired machine learning engineer was looking for tech stack documentation and was instead sent a link to ChatGPT, a Wikipedia article on pop-up ads, and a Figma file titled v1_final_master_FINAL_v1_02.

Despite the revelations, Promptly closed a $40 million Series B at a $350 million valuation just days later. When asked for comment, one VC partner (speaking off the record) shrugged:

“We know it’s just three wrappers in a trenchcoat. But the trenchcoat? Cashmere. And Papa loves cashmere, baby.”

Analysts expect Promptly’s Series C to value the company at “whatever xAI worth, minus like 12%,” citing the startup’s visionary leadership, bold monetization strategy, and vaguely European brand aesthetic.